Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Randomize
