I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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