So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
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