Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
