So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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