It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
