I only kidnapped one of them. chill
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize