She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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