You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
