If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize