Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Randomize