I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
