dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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