I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Randomize