I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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