Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
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