That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
