She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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