Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
