she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
