Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
