Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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