using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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