At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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