If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
