Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
im six kinds of drunk right now
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
