:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Randomize
