ugly people sure do ruin things
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize