the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
