Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
