I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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