After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
We need a shit load of segways right now
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Randomize
