you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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