when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
