There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
My pussy is not your playground.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize