She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
