i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I would ride that face into the sunset
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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