Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
