Tell her she can't have a vagina
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
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