Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
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