he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize