I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Randomize
