I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
