some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
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