he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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