people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I take back everything I said about communal showers
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
