Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Randomize
