I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Randomize
