If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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