either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
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