I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Randomize
