Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
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