I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
