you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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