I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Randomize
