did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize