Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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