found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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