I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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