so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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