Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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