"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Randomize
