So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I have grass duct taped all over my body
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
