You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
