your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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