Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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