How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
You are a genius and a whore.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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