and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
