my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
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