Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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