There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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