I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
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