I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
