mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
