you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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